This past Friday, the UN made landmark strides to perserve global peace for all humanity forver by providing a solution to any threat of nuclear holocaust.
A nuclear holocaust has to have an agent of destruction – a perpetrator. A perp is almost certainly a human being. A human being has needs and insecurities. Satisfying those needs and assuaging those insecurities will eliminate the underlying desire for a nuclear holocaust and preserve global peace. For a lot of human beings, it can be as simple as handing over a slurpee and a nice jacket. If the perp is a robot though, we’re fucked.
With the problem of utter destruction solved for the most part, the UN moved on to the issue of facing the cruel cruel world without insurance. A world where people are judged for the way they look and the amount of teeth they have. In a world like that, not having dental insurance can lead down a path of ostracism and humiliation. Once again, the issue boils down to a bullying perp with human needs and insecurities. Making fun of these needs and exploiting the insecurities can neutralize the bully and prevent anyone from ever mentioning your screwed up teeth again. If you don’t have health insurance though, you’re fucked.